How to Use a Vibrator for Men

I’ve spoken with thousands of men who had no idea they could use a vibrator. They either thought vibrators only worked on women, or they weren’t for “guys like them.” Once most of these men gave vibrators a chance, they quickly became converts. Vibrators aren’t made for a certain kind of person, they’re for anyone interested in discovering new ways to feel sexual pleasure. Men in particular are offered a narrow set of sexual options, and vibrators can help expand those options and discover pleasure and orgasms you didn’t even know were in you. If you’re curious, here are some tips for men on how to use a vibrator.

Time Required: For Your First Time, a Half Hour or More

Here's How:

1. Explode the myth.
Most people think vibrators are sex toys for women only. Since you may have never thought vibrators could be fore you, you may need to give yourself some time to get comfortable with the idea of trying a vibrator. The good news is that once you do, you’ll be greatly rewarded. Remember that sex toys aren’t made for certain kids of people, they’re made to stimulate nerve endings. Anyone and everyone could be the “kind of person” who uses vibrators, and using one doesn’t say anything about you other than the fact that you like yourself enough to want to feel good.

2. Get to know your vibrator.
Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof be careful not to get any water near the battery case. Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws return your vibrator before you use it.

3. Start on your own.
Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it our by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator).

4. Play with the lights on.
Not everyone will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a lover. You can achieve the same effect with touch, knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s going on can be a benefit for some.

5. Turn it off before you turn it on.
It’s a generalization, but men probably don’t touch all parts of their body as often as women do. You may be 100% familiar with your genitals, but how well do you know your calves or thighs? When was the last time you noticed how it feels to be touched behind your knees? Before you turn the vibrator on, get used to how it feels on your body. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a slow way of introducing your body to the vibrator.

6. Move your vibrator from the outside in.
Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the penis, scrotum, ass and nipples, don’t just jump to the main event. Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move the vibrator up your inner thigh, gently run it over the perineum, or in circles around your nipples.

7. Don’t rush: Explore every inch.
The great thing about vibrators is that they never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. We are so penis-focused that it’s no wonder most men think that their penis is not only the best sexual part of their body, but the only area capable of giving them an orgasm. In fact there are many parts of a man’s body that are capable of experiencing intense sexual pleasure. Using a vibrator is a great way to find them. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight.

8. Play with the speed of the vibrator.
Because men tend to use a lot of friction when they masturbate, stronger vibrators are often needed, particular around the genitals. But when exploring other parts of your body, always start on a low setting and work your way up. Particularly with anal vibrators, even a slight change in the speed of the vibrator can be felt, and playing with the speed settings can be highly pleasurable.

9. Play with pressure.
Experiment with applying different pressure. It might not feel good to press very hard around the scrotum, but if you put your vibrator on the perineum and apply deep pressure you are stimulating the prostate externally. Some men find that with a strong enough vibrator and enough pressure, using a vibrator on the head of the penis will give them an orgasm without ever moving the vibrator. Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down -- find what works for you.

10. External vs. internal vibration.
Hard plastic and electric vibrators are the best for external stimulation as they are stronger and more comfortable to use externally. You can use these vibrators for external anal stimulation as well. If you want to explore anal penetration with a vibrator it’s recommended that you either get an anal attachment for your electric vibrator or buy a separate vibrator that is safe for anal use. You may find vibrators made of silicone or other softer materials are more comfortable for anal penetration. Always use a water based lubricant for any penetration play.

11. External anal stimulation.
The anus (the part on the outside that you can see and touch) is rich with nerve endings and usually responds favorably to stimulation. As mentioned above, start slowly and work from the inside out. See what the vibrator feels like on your lower back, your bum, and your inner thighs. Move slowly and gently to the anus and start by applying just a little pressure. You can roll the edge of the vibrator around the area and experiment with pressure and speed as you go. Once they get over the newness of the feeling many men find this highly pleasurable.

12. Anal penetration with a vibrator.
Anal penetration requires patience, arousal, and a lot of lubricant. Start slow and get yourself fully aroused by using the vibrator externally first. Don’t force an anal toy inside your body. Instead, with the vibrator on, just leave the tip at the opening of the anus and let the toy slide in gently when your body is ready. Once inside you can move the vibrator around and also play with the speed of the vibrator. Tilting the vibrator toward your belly button will stimulate the prostate. You may have to add more lubricant depending on how long your play lasts.

13. Using your vibrator with a partner.
You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe and use it on yourself. You and your partner can use it on each other. There are vibrators that fit over the penis for use during partner penetration play. You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but can add stimulation during sex. However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.

Tips:

1. Prostate massagers
Some vibrators are better suited for prostate massage than others. Vibrators that aren’t too big, and have a gentle curve tend to work well. Some men like the feeling of pressure alone on the prostate and will use a vibrator but keep it turned off. Others enjoy the feeling of vibration and pressure. Remember to use lots of lubricant and only toys that are safe for anal penetration.

2. Be patient.
Many men are used to sex play that involves a lot of quick rubbing and stimulation. Vibrators give you the chance to try something completely different. Even if you find the vibe doesn’t drive you to the heights of orgasm immediately, give it chance. Find a place on your body where the vibration feels good and leave the vibrator there for a minute or two. Apply pressure and let the vibrations go deeper into your body. You may be surprised by the results.

3. Take your batteries out.
Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time your finished using it. If you leave the batteries in the vibe may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments when everyone at dinner is wondering where that buzzing is coming from. Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case destroying your vibrator.

4. Anal vibrator safety.
Don’t share sex toys unless you use a condom every time. If you’re playing with a female partner never let a sex toy that has been in the rectum go in the vagina. Always use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for anal penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on the outside and just inside the anus. Replenish the lubricant on the vibrator throughout the sex play.



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