This morning I read on Wired.com the parents of Jessica Logan are suing their daughter’s ex-boyfriend, who had distributed a nude photo of her to his classmates. Logan committed suicide and the ridicule she received due to the photo is believed the motive for her suicide.
The photo was only ever in existence because Logan had practiced the popular art of “sexting,” sending out nude or otherwise risqué photos to a boyfriend or girlfriend via your cell phone.
This comes on the heels of a story I saw on CNN.com last night, which cited a study in Pediatrics that claimed 40 percent of children have sex before having “the talk” with their parents.
The study involved children ages 13 through 17, as well as their parents. In it, 42 percent of girls reported they had not discussed the effectiveness of birth control, and 40 percent had never received any sort of talk or advice about refusing sexual intercourse.
But this was practically saintly compared to what the boys reported. Seventy percent of them claimed they had not received any sort of education on condom use. In defense of at least a few of the boys’ parents, 50 percent of them claimed to have discussed condom use with their sons. However, they should probably remember something about teenage boys: Many of them aren’t going to listen to you the first time you tell them something.
There’s been a lot of talk these days about sex education in schools, or the lack thereof, and such talks are warranted. The school system could probably be doing a better job in a lot of ways. However, I think the biggest factor in the fight against teen pregnancy and STDs should be the parents, and obviously a lot of them are failing.
Although I don’t yet have children myself, I’m sure “the talk” isn’t the easiest thing to give to them. I understand the awkwardness, both from the parents and the children. It’s not an easy subject. However, parents shouldn’t expect parenthood to be easy all the time, and a few awkward talks could save them from a lot more awkward (and potentially rage-filled) talks in the future.
It’s nice, I’m sure, to assume that children aren’t having sex. In my ideal, perfect world in which I’m a millionaire and “Transformers 2” didn’t suck, people wouldn’t have sex until they’re mature and preferably married.
However, the same Pediatrics study says that one-third of ninth graders have had sex, and half of tenth graders have as well.
Kind of scary, if you ask me.
I understand the (usually conservative-minded) desire to focus on abstinence-only sex education. I understand the worry if you teach children and teens how to have safe sex, it will only encourage them to have sex when they really shouldn’t.
However, even coming from a very conservative family (in which I was home-schooled after elementary school) I was given substantial talks on safe sex. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that no man, woman or child is going to be perfect. So while we should continue to hope the youth of this world will be morally smart and responsible, we should still prepare them in case they make mistakes.
A teenager who avoids sex until marriage is great, but a safe-sex, STD-free teenager is still much better than a pregnant teenager with crabs.
This sexting trend is one in particular that should be discussed between parents and their children. As Jessica Logan proved, it isn’t wise to create a sexually explicit image or video of yourself and share it with anybody unless you are willing to share that material with everybody — in other words, if you’re a model or porn star.
Maybe there’s something exciting and romantic about such actions between married couples, but it is a rather stupid idea in high school, and probably in college as well.
I know that — especially in high school — it’s easy to feel like you’re completely in love, you want to stick with your boyfriend or girlfriend and believe you can trust them completely. But too many cases have proven otherwise.
If you’re going to do something like sexting, it would be better to wait until you’re absolutely sure the content isn’t going to leak or be shared — and that’s difficult to be sure of before marriage, at least.
Parents need to start educating their children better on all of these issues, rather than complaining the school systems aren’t doing their job for them.
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