How to Use a Vibrator for Women

Very few vibrators comes with instruction manuals. On the one hand, you might think that no manual is necessary -- after all shouldn’t you know how to use a vibrator? But if you’ve never used one, how exactly are you supposed to know how? Most people do manage to stumble their way to pleasure with a vibrator, but if you’re looking for a few helpful hints here is a beginner’s guide for women on how to use a vibrator.

Time Required: For Your First Time, a Half Hour or More

Here's How:

1. Get to know your vibrator.
Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery case. Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws, return your vibrator before you use it.

2. Start on your own.
Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it our by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator).

3. Play with the lights on.
Not everyone will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a lover. You can achieve the same effect with touch, knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s going on can be a benefit for some.

4. Turn it off before you turn it on.
Get comfortable with the feel of the vibrator on your body. Run the vibe along your body without even turning it on. Notice how it feels. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. If the vibrator is a hard material this will probably feel nice. If the vibrator is a soft rubber and doesn’t feel smooth against your skin, try the above with your clothes on. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a gentle way of introducing your body to the vibrator.

5. Move your vibrator from the outside in.
Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Again, you can start with some clothes on if you like. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, don’t just jump to the main event. Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move the vibrator up your inner thigh, or in circles around your breasts and nipples.

6. Don’t rush: Explore every inch.
The great thing about vibrators is that they never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Most women use vibrators for clitoral stimulation and many women report that one side -- or even one portion -- of their clitoris responds to vibration more than another. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight (in fact some vibrators come with flashlights). Don’t rush, leaving a vibrator in place can allow it to establish sensation connections that previously weren’t there.

7. Play with the speed of the vibrator.
Most vibrators have multiple speed settings (or at least two settings). Always start on a low setting and work your way up. If a vibrator feels too strong at first you can put a towel between you and the vibrator, or just press it lightly against your body. You may find that on some areas a lower speed is all you need, and on others stronger is better. Some vibrators have “pulsation” settings, but you can also play with turning the strength up and down in rapid succession.

8. Play with pressure.
Experiment with applying different pressure. You may enjoy a lot of deep pressure with clitoral stimulation or you may want to hold a vibrator just slightly above the body. You can press your vibrator deep into your skin and massage the muscles while also feeling the stimulation of the motor. With most battery-powered vibrators, the more pressure you apply the lower the vibration feels. Also the stronger you hold your vibrator, the more vibration gets absorbed by your hand. Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down, and find what works for you.

9. On point or flat out.
Most vibrators will have a point or an edge. Try touching yourself with the finest point of the vibrator. Next put the widest or flattest part of your vibrator against your body. When you focus on one point, the vibrations can feel more intense than when the vibration is being dispersed around a wider area. You may find that the feel of the vibrator on your labia, or above your clitoris feels awesome. Because the clitoris extends inside the body, deep vibration in this area can feel great, and different than direct clitoral stimulation.

10. Using a vibrator for penetration.
Most women use vibrators for external stimulation, but as long as your vibrator is safe for penetration there’s no reason not to try it. A vibrator that is safe for penetration will be smooth, have no rough edges, and won’t absorb bodily fluids. In almost all cases. it’s recommended to put a condom over a vibrator if you’re using it for penetration. You should also use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on your vulva and just inside your vagina.

11. Exploring penetration with a vibrator.
Start slow with penetration and get yourself aroused by using the vibrator externally first. While far more nerve endings are outside the vagina than inside, lots of women enjoy penetration with a vibrator. Some women will use a vibrator to find and stimulate the g spot. It has also been hypothesized that nerve endings in the cervix respond to stimulation and pressure. Pressing the vibrator against the top of your vagina (such as pressing it towards your belly) may provide g spot stimulation or even indirect clitoral stimulation.

12. Using your vibrator with a partner.
You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe, using it on yourself to add stimulation during sex play with a partner. You can use the vibrator on your partner (or vice versa). You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but can add stimulation during sex. However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.

Tips:

1. G spot vibrators
Some vibrators have a curved tip and are sold as g spot vibrators. These toys can make it easier to reach the g spot but they are no guarantee that you’ll enjoy g spot stimulation. Also, any firm vibrator can be used to stimulate the g spot.

2. Safety tip: vaginal or anal penetration.
If you want to insert a vibrator anally, only use vibrators designed for anal penetration. The toy should be smooth and seamless, and should have a flared base to prevent it from slipping all the way in. Read more about anal sex toy safety.

3. Vibrator strength trick.
If you’re using a vibrator on a partner and you want to vary the strength of the vibration you can do this by grabbing the vibrator tighter and getting a larger grasp on it. When you do this your hand absorbs more of the vibration and to the person on the other end it feels like the vibration is getting a bit lower. Loosen your grip and the strength will come back.

4. Take your batteries out.
Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time your finished using it. If you leave the batteries in, the vibrator may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments when everyone at dinner is wondering where that buzzing is coming from. Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case, destroying your vibrator.



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